Archives

Home ? Blogs ? Lesbians and Domestic Violence: Intimate Betrayal, part 2

• Posted on July 5, 2012 by mariam in Blogs, Health, Women's Health

  

  Characteristics of Abusers: Are you abusive? Is your partner?

  Check out this excellent link

  In many ways, domestic violence in LGBTQI relationships is the same as in heterosexual relationships. Then again, there are aspects of lesbian relationships that may lead to domestic abuse being experienced differently.

  • In heterosexual couples, abuse is clearly underreported; imagine, then, reporting abuse in environments hostile towards queers! Those involved in same-sex battering frequently report being afraid to reveal their sexual orientation.
  • In same-sex abuse, a pattern often exists where one partner seeks to control the thoughts, beliefs, or conduct of the other partner, or to punish their partner for resisting their control. This may manifest as physical or sexual violence, or emotional and verbal abuse. An additional form of emotional abuse for someone who is LGBTQI may be to ?out? them at work or to family or friends.
  • Local resources for domestic violence in the lesbian community are usually scarce and domestic violence services established for women in heterosexual relationships often lack the training, sensitivity, and expertise to adequately recognize and address abusive GLBTQI relationships.
  • It may be incorrectly assumed that lesbian abuse must be ?mutual?, and that both partners must be mutually abusive, while it is not often seen as being mutual in heterosexual battering. Acknowledging abuse may mean coming out, and can lead to the victim losing their home, job, family support and custody of children. In many regions of Africa where same-sex relationships are themselves illegal, getting help may be perceived as more dangerous than tolerating abuse.
  • Telling straight people and organizations about abuse in a LGBTQI relationship can reinforce the myth that LGBT relationships are ?abnormal.? This causes the victim to feel even more isolated and unsupported.
  • LGBTQI community may fail to support victims of battering because of a desire to maintain the myth that there are no problems (such as child abuse, alcoholism, domestic violence, etc.) in queer relationships. The LGBTQI community within the area may be small, and in such situations everyone the survivor knows will soon know of their abuse. Sides will be drawn and support may be difficult to find.

  

  KEY POINTS ON ABUSE

  • Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, and involve verbal behavior used to coerce, threaten or humiliate.
  • Abuse often occurs in a cyclical fashion.
  • The purpose of the abuse is to maintain control and power over one?s partner.
  • The abused partner feels alone, isolated and afraid, and is often convinced that the abuse is somehow her fault.
  • No one deserves to be abused.
  
  
  ? Previous Post Next Post ?

If you enjoyed this article please consider sharing it!

Source: http://www.qayn-center.org/2012/07/05/3405/

birdman whip it gabby giffords gabby giffords geithner gabrielle giffords juliette lewis